Relaxing back into the same gusty god
Breath that whirled the ancient
Mystical whirling weirdos that blow me–
Joy and jealousy—away
-M. Ashley
Whirl (poem)
Tag: God
Authentic African Musical Tiger Says
In a moment a pain, crying and praying, my god brought me this. The radio playing mysterious drums and me… I had to look. Authentic African music surely… with a tiger on the cover. A tiger.
Hard to pain cry and SMH cry laughing at the same time.
And if that weren’t enough: That look in the authentic African music tiger’s eye: “You… Hey you… Hey you there lady, crying. You! Authentic African musical tiger says, RELAX!!!”
And buddy, you’d better fucking relax.
-M. Ashley
Tall Waves (poem)
In my dream, I asked my god to carry
Me into the black, icy ocean.
Carry me, I said, out to where
The waves are taller than you are.
Are you sure?
Those are tall waves
I’m sure. You hold me.
I’ll hold my breath.
-M. Ashley
Wanted: Considerate God (poem)
A god who doesn’t touch you
When you don’t want to be
Touched—doesn’t give you
The Big Vision when The
Big Vision would hurt your
Feelings—doesn’t burn bushes
During high winds and
Red flag warnings.
-M. Ashley
Saddle Sores (poem)
I wonder if Jesus got
Saddle sores from the donkey
He rode into Jerusalem.
Lay down the palm fronds, people
And pass the thick healing balm.
This son of God is going
Bow-legged to the cross.
-M. Ashley
Loving Your Jealous God (poem)
If you make your god jealous, submit to him.
Love him. Ruffle his curly black hair. Offer him
your body and all your softest parts, the ones
you only offer some of the time.
Swear on the river, the unbreakable
swear, that you will give up
the offending one. Kiss him all over.
You didn’t mean to hurt his heart,
but you did.
-M. Ashley
Ghost Heart
“Much have we loved you, but speechless was our love, and with veils has it been veiled.”
-Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
In a moment of pain, suffering again with a traumatic memory, beyond trauma, that gave me tremors in my right arm and down the length of my leg, I cried out in loneliness and, in the imaginary conversation I was having with my therapist, I said how lonely I was with my trauma and how talking to my god was not enough because “he’s a ghost!”
(I am thinking of a ghost’s sheet as a veil.)
I hurt my god’s feelings. He has been right here with me through all the blood and guts.
Many times, talking to others about him, I have referred to him as “a figment of my imagination,” and “my all-powerful psychosis.” He joyfully laughs.
I called him a ghost and broke his heart.
-M. Ashley
NaPoWriMo: Establishing Honestly with God Can Really Knock You on Your Ass
I asked him why the gods expressed
their flowering through rape myths
He looked at me with one dark
eye and said, “I don’t know
how you want me
to answer this question.”
-M. Ashley
NaPoWriMo: I Am an Albino
Unrequited lover of the light
Longing for west and east facing
Curtain-less windows wide open
But built to be shy of the light
Take it all in unrestricted
Get sick from it
My skin cancers
I faint
My iris-less eyes
Twitch in pain
God comforted me once
He said, “Perhaps the light
Is maladapted—not you
Nor your love of it.”
-M. Ashley
After a Dream of God in War
Traveler in the city convulsion
Where singed clouds and
Sewers perpetually burst
Walk with me the mud wallow
Streets. Hold the starving pigs
Off. Drowned roaches
Burbling and fallen
Down buildings, all the All, this
Rain must be nuclear too.
My god
My legs are giving way and my
White hair is coming out in wet
Tumbles. Take me in a cab mysteriously
Still running to a dry room
A dry bed.
Count my shivering
Eyelashes as I dream of you.
-M. Ashley
M. N. Ashley 